Brittney Brewer

My Story

 

Hi everyone! My name is Brittney. I am so thrilled that you stopped by! Welcome to my Living Fit Blog where you can follow me through my health and fitness lifestyle, pick up on some "pro-tips", better understand nutrition, and become a pro yourself. 

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A little bit about me, I am from Irvine, California. My love for sunshine and saltwater courses through my veins which explains the little sprinkles of beachy goodness throughout this blog :). I have now lived most of my life in Texas. Currently, I work for a gym and am pursuing my degree in Management with a minor in International Business. It is my hope to one day work for Under Armour however, I have always said if I wasn't pursuing business I would be a nutritionist. 

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Ever since I was a little girl, I always reached for healthier choices as I was passionate about eating good-for-you foods. I remember during gym class in elementary school our coaches talked to us about the Food Pyramid and "Go, Slow, and Whoah" foods. While I was interested in being healthy at a very young age, I struggled with body image too... something I would battle more severly later on in my life. 

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I have always been tall with a more lean figure but like everyone else, I have my problem areas. During middle school, I became obsessed with my weight and everything I put into my mouth. It was during this time, I became vegetarian and food became my enemy. All day long I thought about food, calories, and my weight. I was obsessed with anything liquid to avoid that full feeling- soups, smoothies, and applesauce were my go-tos. 

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I remember standing infront of my mirror constantly pinching at the fat on my body (the little there was) and feeling digusted with myself. Food quickly became my worst enemy. With each bite I took, I felt burdened with guilt. I dangerously restricted my calories and was cardio obssessed, completing 2-3 hours a day. All of this caused me to be at my lowest weight of 115 pounds at 5'9".

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People commented day in and out about my weight. But to be honest, these comments made me feel good, like what I was doing was working- "You are so freaking tiny!", "I can see your spine through your shirt", "Dang girl, you got a bony a**!" People questioned if I was eating which I always replied "yes". What they didn't know is that may have been a cheese stick and a serving of applesauce for the day.

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At yearly wellness check ups, the doctors would take my weight and height and talk about my BMI. If the scale crept up a pound I cried. The doctor would try to explain to me with her fancy little chart that I was below average on my  weight and if anything I needed to gain weight. But being below average was validation for me. 

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It didn't bother me until one day during a choir rehearsal (in high school), there were a group of girls sitting on the floor in a circle munching on their dinner. A girl, who constantly put me down at that time decided to call me out as I walked towards the group of girls. We all were wearing the same black, chorale gown. "Ew! I can see your hip bones", she gawked, "If you take one more step you might collapse. What are you five pounds from all the hairspray and makeup you use??" I stood there shaking, as a dozen girls looked shocked at her and then me. Her words cut deep. I had no idea how to respond so I simply walked away. 

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Soon after that, I noticed that my body was beginning to betray me. During another choir rehearsal, I began to feel dizzy. The only thing I remember is sitting on the floor hunched over. I blamed what had happen on the warm stage lights. It was then I began eating again, yet very little. However, my body continued to fail me. Frequently, I would get drops in my blood sugar levels after a few hours. I would grow weak and shaky, my head would pound, my palms would grow clamy while the rest of me sweat. If I didn't eat something with sugar quickly I would feel dizzy and pass out. Hypoglycemia. My new enemy as this would force me to eat. 

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Going from not eating to carrying around food at all times was embarassing. It was a hassle to explain to teachers and employers but in a way it was a God send. It forced me to eat and get back to a healthy weight.

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Fast forwarding to the beginning of my senior year in high school, I was under so much stress and pressure. One day while I was at work, I was opening up a to-go box of lemon pepper wings to show a guest. Immediatley my stomach revolted. The smell caused me to want to vomit. Little did I know every food would and the feeling of nausea would last for days. It was so unbearable that by day three I couldn't get out of bed. My mum took me to the doctor and she diagnosed me with stomach ulcers, a result from the intense stress I had been under. At this point, I hadn't been able to keep anything down except a apple in the last three days. Drinking water even caused my body to rebel. They gave me a prescripton to relieve the nausea. Happily, I took it and felt immediate relief. At that point in time I was 129 pounds, a healthy weight for me. 

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A month, later I returned to the doctor for a checkup. I stepped on the scale panicking at the numbers infront of me. 140 pounds. I had gained 11 pounds in 28 days. Never in my life had that happened before. I now know it was due to the prescription, the number one side-effect was weight gain. I was devestated, angry, shocked, defeated. I immediatley went to a local gym to sign up for a membership and worked out every single day. 

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Months after working out and eating clean, the scale barely seemed to move. I didn't understand. I was working so hard. It was that point that my mum and I wondered if I had a thyroid problem. With a blood test at the doctor's office the results proved that I didn't. A blessing, as I didn't want to be on medication for the rest of my life but also a source of more frustration. Why was this happening to me? My mother blamed it on "becoming a woman". To me, that was BS. I felt so unhealthy, exhausted, ashamed, and defeated- this was not what "becoming a woman" should feel like.

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That summer, I moved to Arlington for school. As a result, I had to cancel my local gym membership but planned to use the student rec center. Unfortunately, my university did not allow you to use the gym if you weren't enrolled in any classes and for that summer I wasn't. It was also at that time I became a Starbucks barista which led to incredibly unhealthy habits. I was working close to 30 hours a week and going to school for 18 hours. I was sleeping less than 5 hours a night, wired off caffeine, and surrounded by endless sugar and pastries...my weakness as I have always had a sweet tooh. During the semester, I continued to be a cardio bunny once in awhile but my weight remained the same. 

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After a year in Arlington, I transfered to another university. I kept my job at Starbucks for my first semester and quit right before Christmas. I was done. Done with the stress, done with the unhealthy habits, done with putting my health last. I began meal prepping again and utilized my apartment gym to combat stress. In February 2016, I was hired for my gym that was set to open early March. It was this open door that saved me. It was then that I ditched being a cardio bunny and fell in love with lifting. 

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In just a couple of months, I watched my body drastically change. I am stronger now than I have ever been both mentally and physically. I can't not explain the overwhelming joy and peace that fills my heart. I cannot explain what it is like to be constantly surrounded by what you are passionate about and by people who share the same passion. Who would have thought that the girl who was never an athlete and battled an eating disorder would be who she is today? No one.

 

I understand what it is like to be both underweight and overweight. I understand what its like to have never been an athlete and cross the weight room floor for the first time. I understand what it is like to combat anorexia athletica and body dismorphia. I understand what its like to begin your health and fitness journey and have no idea where to start. That is why I have created this blog. I desire a more healthy world. I desire more happier people. I want others to experience the joy that I experience everyday. I want others to learn to love themselves and their bodies. I want to see confidence like I've never seen before. No, I am not a nutritionist. No, I am not a personal trainer. No, I am not perfect. No, I have not gotten to where I want to be but everyday I grow stronger. I can and I WILL and so can you! 

 

You have a HEART that BEATS, lungs that BREATHE, and legs that MOVE- use them!

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The knowledge I have gained throughout this journey is no good if it is never utilized and shared. Its time for YOU. Its time to truly love YOU. Its time to build your legacy. 

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-xxoo Britt 

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